Gambling is a habit. Nobody was born as a gambler, gambling is a learned habit.
As a learned habit it can be 'unlearned' or changed. That is how we can work to change gambling habit towards a different way of life.
Good guessing can be considered as part of a normal way of life. It could be also be considered a form of 'gambling'. It can be reasoned that people, and most animals, need to use good guessing to succeed in life. Guessing which food is good, which actions are dangerous, etc., has been important to the survival of the human race.
Those include:
Modern life in most societies has various aspects of 'good guessing' - or gambling - about actions. Those guesses may include education, career, location to live, type of accommodation, etc. The 'guesses' will include subjects such as relationships, children, etc. All of those 'guesses' may be considered a form of gambling - with life and its enjoyment, or otherwise.
Shifting from those 'guesses' for life to gambling for money is easy for many people. The gambling industry is an industry which uses many methods to attract their customers in order to make money, including the natural guessing or gambling tendency of people.
The realities are that the gambling industries make large profits; they have done so for thousands of years, in different forms. To enable these profits to continue, gamblers have to consistently lose, on average.
Gambling can be enjoyable, it can be fun and a way of adding excitement and enjoyment to a period of relaxation or a vacation of enjoyment. It excites the reward centre of the brain in similar ways as some illegal drugs.
It can also be a problem for some people. Nobody was born a gambler, any habits of gambling are learned since birth. As such, they can be 'unlearned'. Understanding when gambling becomes a problem is a defining moment.
If gambling has become problematic, then it may be time to change the gambling situation. If clients realise that gambling has become more of a problem than an enjoyment, then counselling can assist the situation.
If clients want to change their gambling habits, counselling can help them do so.
The gambler needs to understand that it will be difficult and hard work to change their habits of gambling. It will not be easy.
Our counselling will be done in phases, appropriate to each client and their individual situations. We will be working towards having a life without gambling. That life will be different. It will also be different for others around the gambler. The phases will not be sequential and they will may reoccur over a period of time.
The gambler needs to want to change their current gambling lifestyle. If they do not want to change, they will have not reasons to do so.
Commonly in our counselling gambling process there may be initial 'tools' provided to the gambler, during the initial few sessions, which may help their resistance to further gambling temptations - in the immediate and short-term.
We will then often develop the concept of how a different way of life would be, without gambling. We will develop an agreed plan which the client can use, in their own way, towards being a different person - a 'non-gambler'. The client will have to change their habits and desires of life; there will be a decrease in some of their excitements, there will be an increase in the feelings of reliability and consistency in their lives.
Each phase will advance on previous sessions, with appropriate reinforcement of prior work. The phases may not be sequencial and may be repeated and emphasised. Sessions will not normally correspond to phases.
Phases:
Gambling is a time consuming occupation. If a person stops gambling, there will be a void in their lives. A void requires something to fill it. The easiest thing to fill the void is what came out of it - the gambling. So it is preferable to start, or increase, a different activity- a sport, hobby, educational course, relationship, etc.
Counselling can offer the possibility that a person can consider themselves as a different person. That learning to be a 'non-gambler' is the direction that the counselling will commonly work towards.
Gambling problems can be destructive habits; which often will negatively affect relationships, finances, employment, and other aspects of having an enjoyable life. It may develop into couples counselling, as it is often harder on the partner or family of a gambler; they have no control of the gambling situation.
During therapy there may be relapses. We can work with relapses; they would not be disasters, they would be hiccups or bumps in the road to being a 'non-gambler'.
A common situation with problem gamblers is a lack of reality and immediate situational disassociation. The reality is that the gambling industry will always have the benefit of the gambling advantage. The gambling will always be tilted against the gambler. Bringing that reality is a major part of the counselling process. Gamblers commonly believe that they can affect reality, by really wanting it to be different/having a system/having knowledge/etc.
I have extensive experience of working with problem gamblers, who often are then able to change their emotional ability to stop their gambling problems. I also provide counselling to partners/relatives who are affected by another person's gambling.
I practise online as a counsellor to assist clients to develop positivity and their improved well-being. I work with various issues, using counselling with clients in locations worldwide. One issue which is common in many locations is excessive gambling problems, which may also be called compulsive gambling.
If you consider that you might be a problem gambler - or a person affected by a gambling person, or have tendencies towards that behaviour, please contact me by email or my contact page.
For a prompt appointment: email, call or text: 07757 233386 (UK). I may be with a client, or otherwise occupied, in which case please leave a message with your contact number. I will respond promptly. Or email: info@counsellingworld.co.uk Or use the contact page to send me a message.
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